Last week we looked at “The Magnificent Seven” of Resolving Conflicts Don’ts
Do’s. This week will be the Destructive Dozen.
YELLING – Few people respond well when you raise your voice loudly when
you are trying to communicate with them.
BLAMING – Verbally attacking someone else and making the focus of the
situation personal.
REACTING DEFENSIVELY - Makes the other person feel like a wall has been
erected between you.
FOCUS ON PERCEIVED INTENTIONS – Can lead you to making assumptions
that prevent you from seeing people’s actions.
NOT DEALING WITH THE SITUATION – One of the more common
behaviors in conflict situations that generally leads to creating a worse situation
than the actual one.
MAKING SUBTLE DIGS AND SARCASTIC REMARKS – Comments that belittle
others and won’t help to solve the conflict.
COMPLAINING CONSTANTLY ABOUT THE SITUATION – Constant
complaining will cause others to tune you out.
ISSUING ULTIMATUMS – Will be received as harsh demands of threats and
may create animosity and defiance.
PUSHING HARDER AND HARDER FOR YOUR WAY – Lack of consideration
for the other person’s view may make you less persuasive.
SENDING FLAMING E-MAILS MESSAGES – Telling other about your concern
can generally sound like you’re complaining or degrading that person; is great
for stimulating rumors and stirring plenty of negative energy.
Conflicts are a part of our professional and personal lives. Take the
time to learn how resolve the conflicts … it is time well spent.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - Leadership Orientation with Caroline Sutherlin
What a great time was had by all at the Texas State Chapter Leadership
Orientation last week! The setting was beautiful, the networking
outstanding and the education empowering…
One of our past state presidents, Carolyn Sutherlin, discussed with the 2010
state officers the “Resolving Conflicts Don’ts and Do’s”. These tips would
be useful in all of our relationships…. let's start with the "Do's" first.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
GO TO THE SOURCE – Face-to-face interaction is best for resolving
disputes and conflicts. E-mail can’t do it; neither can voice mail
STAY IN CONTROL – The toughest job you have to do is
manage yourself.
STAY FOCUSED ON THE ISSUES – Ability to listen and understand
the other person’s point of view will positively influence the outcomes.
BE STRAIGHT AND SINCERE - Need to be direct, respectful in
your tone and constructive in your use of language.
GO FOR SOLUTIONS – Entire emphasis needs to be solutions-oriented,
so that the end result creates an improvement, corrects an error, or makes
things better than they were in their previous state.
ASSUME THE OTHER PERSON MEANS WELL – Takes your focus
away from what you perceive someone intended and places it on the
actions you see.
Next week, we will look at the "Don'ts"
Orientation last week! The setting was beautiful, the networking
outstanding and the education empowering…
One of our past state presidents, Carolyn Sutherlin, discussed with the 2010
state officers the “Resolving Conflicts Don’ts and Do’s”. These tips would
be useful in all of our relationships…. let's start with the "Do's" first.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
GO TO THE SOURCE – Face-to-face interaction is best for resolving
disputes and conflicts. E-mail can’t do it; neither can voice mail
STAY IN CONTROL – The toughest job you have to do is
manage yourself.
STAY FOCUSED ON THE ISSUES – Ability to listen and understand
the other person’s point of view will positively influence the outcomes.
BE STRAIGHT AND SINCERE - Need to be direct, respectful in
your tone and constructive in your use of language.
GO FOR SOLUTIONS – Entire emphasis needs to be solutions-oriented,
so that the end result creates an improvement, corrects an error, or makes
things better than they were in their previous state.
ASSUME THE OTHER PERSON MEANS WELL – Takes your focus
away from what you perceive someone intended and places it on the
actions you see.
Next week, we will look at the "Don'ts"
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - Your Golden Rolodex Week 4
How quickly the time passes when you are having fun or doing the things that you enjoy! It is time to finish Your Golden Rolodex: How to Network for Results! by Vicki Austin with a few last comments. Hopefully you have learned something new or been reminded of
something that has worked in the past.
As to social networking, the author loves technology and realizes the importance to staycurrent and to know what is available BUT technology needs to serve us….not the other way around. Building relationships are best done face-to-face with frequent connections.
There is nothing casual about networking. You need to schedule time to make calls. Once an appointment is made, schedule in your calendar, confirm and keep your appointment.
Prepare for your appointment..
1. Know your audience – Use search engines to learn about the individual and
company. Ask others in your GR about the person
2. Prepare questions – your job is to ensure that the networking conversation
stays active.
3. Referrals are the very LAST thing to come up.
If all goes according to schedule, you may have more people and contacts than
you know what to do with. Use ONE calendar, a contact grid and follow up
checklist to help manage the volume. Document each call/visit and highlight
action steps needed. Once an action is completed, remember to document the
follow up, too.
Never let the Golden Rolodex grow cold. Networking should be an integral
part of your routine. Stay connected by …
1. Joining & participating in professional associations or societies (WCR)
2. Continue with ongoing training and development in your field
3. Volunteer for projects as work or in the professional associations
4. Stay involved in alumni associations
5. Block 1 day a month/every two weeks/every week to have lunch or coffee with
people in your Golden Rolodex to keep contacts strong
6. Read articles and journals. Share copies or clips with your contacts.
something that has worked in the past.
As to social networking, the author loves technology and realizes the importance to staycurrent and to know what is available BUT technology needs to serve us….not the other way around. Building relationships are best done face-to-face with frequent connections.
There is nothing casual about networking. You need to schedule time to make calls. Once an appointment is made, schedule in your calendar, confirm and keep your appointment.
Prepare for your appointment..
1. Know your audience – Use search engines to learn about the individual and
company. Ask others in your GR about the person
2. Prepare questions – your job is to ensure that the networking conversation
stays active.
3. Referrals are the very LAST thing to come up.
If all goes according to schedule, you may have more people and contacts than
you know what to do with. Use ONE calendar, a contact grid and follow up
checklist to help manage the volume. Document each call/visit and highlight
action steps needed. Once an action is completed, remember to document the
follow up, too.
Never let the Golden Rolodex grow cold. Networking should be an integral
part of your routine. Stay connected by …
1. Joining & participating in professional associations or societies (WCR)
2. Continue with ongoing training and development in your field
3. Volunteer for projects as work or in the professional associations
4. Stay involved in alumni associations
5. Block 1 day a month/every two weeks/every week to have lunch or coffee with
people in your Golden Rolodex to keep contacts strong
6. Read articles and journals. Share copies or clips with your contacts.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - "Your Golden Rolodex" Week 3
Networking can be seen by some as “using” people but Vickie Austin in "Your
Golden Rolodex: How to Network for Results!" contends that everyone prefers
to do business with those that they know. The content of the book is a step-by
-step process of how to network. Last week we started the Networking Toolbox
with your Mission Statement and the Golden Rolodex. Let’s add a few more tools…
3. Your message: the 30 Second Commercial or Your Elevator Speech
It is important not to get “stuck” on your history. The objective is to hear what
others have to say and how they might be able to help YOU. A formula that has
worked for many of her clients:
Past + Present + desired Future (MISSION)
+ Request
(Time, Ideas, Opinions & Recommendations)
= Success
Keep the past factual, short and sweet. The present should also be brief with the two sentences joined by the word “and”. The 30 Second Commercial is an integral part of the campaign that needs to be practiced and refined.
4. The Request …. Remember that the most powerful request is to ask for
someone’s time. You are asking people to help you identify strategies to help
you accomplish your mission…making money is not the objective of your
MISSION statement. Make an appointment and keep it as a formal business
meeting. The ideas, recommendations, and opinions of the individual are
your goals. We know that everyone likes to be asked their opinion. By seeking
their help, we are including in them the process.
5. Time – Campaigns don’t happen by themselves….they require time and
attention. You need to incorporate the activities into your calendar.
6. Commitment – Networking is a way of life, not a onetime event. The
Golden Rolodex must be fed with regularity!
Golden Rolodex: How to Network for Results!" contends that everyone prefers
to do business with those that they know. The content of the book is a step-by
-step process of how to network. Last week we started the Networking Toolbox
with your Mission Statement and the Golden Rolodex. Let’s add a few more tools…
3. Your message: the 30 Second Commercial or Your Elevator Speech
It is important not to get “stuck” on your history. The objective is to hear what
others have to say and how they might be able to help YOU. A formula that has
worked for many of her clients:
Past + Present + desired Future (MISSION)
+ Request
(Time, Ideas, Opinions & Recommendations)
= Success
Keep the past factual, short and sweet. The present should also be brief with the two sentences joined by the word “and”. The 30 Second Commercial is an integral part of the campaign that needs to be practiced and refined.
4. The Request …. Remember that the most powerful request is to ask for
someone’s time. You are asking people to help you identify strategies to help
you accomplish your mission…making money is not the objective of your
MISSION statement. Make an appointment and keep it as a formal business
meeting. The ideas, recommendations, and opinions of the individual are
your goals. We know that everyone likes to be asked their opinion. By seeking
their help, we are including in them the process.
5. Time – Campaigns don’t happen by themselves….they require time and
attention. You need to incorporate the activities into your calendar.
6. Commitment – Networking is a way of life, not a onetime event. The
Golden Rolodex must be fed with regularity!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - Your Golden Rolodex" Week 2
Last week, we discussed the need to network but yet it is certainly not everyone’s favorite activity. Vickie Austin, in "Your Golden Rolodex: How to Network for Results!", promotes the importance— the gold—that resides in your existing database without seeking new people as contacts.
Ms. Austin has created a Networking Toolbox to help you launch a communication campaign.
1) Your mission — create a mission statement, define your purpose and wanting to make a difference. A mission statement is very different from your business objectives. Missions statements usually contain verbs like “to help, contribute or create”. It is never about the money. Your mission is about service to others.
2) Your Golden Rolodex — the key is to identify everyone, set up a system where you can tap into that reserve of contacts. Her criteria for someone in the Golden Rolodex is most interesting.
a) First of all they must know your name. If you called or left word for, they would recognize your name or the name of the person who referred you to them
b. The most important is that they must be BREATHING!
Communities need to be established. Communities are a collection of people who share or have shared a particular time, place or experience. Possible communities are: work colleagues—past & present; alumni & associations; neighbors, professional/industry associations; sororities; individuals with the same hobbies; friends; family; parents of kids’ friends; house of faith, and one of the most important—personal/professional service providers like hairdressers, barber, attorney, etc.
Now that you have established the communities, integrate the information into ONE place. This might be Outlook, cell phone, PDA, Blackberry, Palm or online programs like Top Producer or ACT! It does not matter what you have as long as you keep it current. The entering of data is an ongoing job for you or your (virtual) assistant.
Until next week with the third installment...
Ms. Austin has created a Networking Toolbox to help you launch a communication campaign.
1) Your mission — create a mission statement, define your purpose and wanting to make a difference. A mission statement is very different from your business objectives. Missions statements usually contain verbs like “to help, contribute or create”. It is never about the money. Your mission is about service to others.
2) Your Golden Rolodex — the key is to identify everyone, set up a system where you can tap into that reserve of contacts. Her criteria for someone in the Golden Rolodex is most interesting.
a) First of all they must know your name. If you called or left word for, they would recognize your name or the name of the person who referred you to them
b. The most important is that they must be BREATHING!
Communities need to be established. Communities are a collection of people who share or have shared a particular time, place or experience. Possible communities are: work colleagues—past & present; alumni & associations; neighbors, professional/industry associations; sororities; individuals with the same hobbies; friends; family; parents of kids’ friends; house of faith, and one of the most important—personal/professional service providers like hairdressers, barber, attorney, etc.
Now that you have established the communities, integrate the information into ONE place. This might be Outlook, cell phone, PDA, Blackberry, Palm or online programs like Top Producer or ACT! It does not matter what you have as long as you keep it current. The entering of data is an ongoing job for you or your (virtual) assistant.
Until next week with the third installment...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - "Your Golden Rolodex" Week 1 by Vickie Austin
I would like to share with you over the next few weeks the e-book "Your Golden Rolodex: How to Network for Results! " by Vickie Austin, one of the phenomenal women who presented several sessionsat The Marketing to Women Summit in Chicago this year. She speaks to the importance of your current database –filled with gold - to develop your business.
“Your Golden Rolodex is based on the premise that in order to succeed, we must start by
honoring the people we already know –a rich network of resources that’s typically ignored
or misunderstood.
Networking is a communication campaign. Women are great at building relationships but
lousy at generating results from them.
The Golden Rolodex focuses on the importance of identifying, connecting and keeping up
with them in whatever style the person is comfortable and treating people in an authentic
and respectful way.
A strong connection exists between networking and etiquette:
1. Return all phone calls
2. Make appropriate introductions – connecting people to each other in business
3. Apologize – take responsibility for your actions
4. Say Thank You – if a connection resulted in actual business, send something
tangible - flowers, a favorite book, candy, or something sweet with a card
saying “Keep those referrals coming!”
Networking code learned at Sunday School : Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you.
Reciprocity is at the heart of effective networking”
Until next week for the second installment...
“Your Golden Rolodex is based on the premise that in order to succeed, we must start by
honoring the people we already know –a rich network of resources that’s typically ignored
or misunderstood.
Networking is a communication campaign. Women are great at building relationships but
lousy at generating results from them.
The Golden Rolodex focuses on the importance of identifying, connecting and keeping up
with them in whatever style the person is comfortable and treating people in an authentic
and respectful way.
A strong connection exists between networking and etiquette:
1. Return all phone calls
2. Make appropriate introductions – connecting people to each other in business
3. Apologize – take responsibility for your actions
4. Say Thank You – if a connection resulted in actual business, send something
tangible - flowers, a favorite book, candy, or something sweet with a card
saying “Keep those referrals coming!”
Networking code learned at Sunday School : Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you.
Reciprocity is at the heart of effective networking”
Until next week for the second installment...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Savvy Saturday Session - Leadership Academy with Amy Chorew
Amy Chorew for many of us has become the “Digital Diva” or “Technology Guru” with her “Inspire – Train – Implement! approach to helping the Women’s Council members. She worked her magic once again at the Leadership Academy in Chicago early in August. Many thanks to Katy Hubener, the incoming LCP for the SW Dallas Chapter for sharing her newly gained knowledge with our chapter this month.
At Leadership Academy, the class was introduced to the FLIP camera although any camera with a video option can be used . Instructions were given on how to create the video. The next step is to upload to YouTube, AOL Video, My Space. YouTube will give your video the most expose or “eyeballs”. Once uploaded to YouTube, the embed code can be put on your blog or website.
Flip Subject Idea for REALTORS:
Frequently asked Questions
Walk-thrus of a previewed home
Virtual Tour with commentary
Unique happening for a particular neighborhood
Final walkthroughs – especially if there are still problems
Testimonials
Welcome message to new homeowner from nearby neighbors highlighting why
they love the neighborhood (Put on a DVD for the neighbors, too –
with your info, of course)
Driving tour of neighborhood, with commentary, for an out-of-town buyer
And the list goes on and on …..
We don’t have to wait until the next Women’s Council national meeting or summit in order to hear and learn more from Amy. She has a page on Facebook – The TechByte with Amy Chorew” and her website is www.amychorew.com The TechByte – Technology Strategies, Real Estate from Amy Chorew, Speaker, Coach. You can subscribe to her blog, sign up for monthly tips or hire her as a real estate coach.
At Leadership Academy, the class was introduced to the FLIP camera although any camera with a video option can be used . Instructions were given on how to create the video. The next step is to upload to YouTube, AOL Video, My Space. YouTube will give your video the most expose or “eyeballs”. Once uploaded to YouTube, the embed code can be put on your blog or website.
Flip Subject Idea for REALTORS:
Frequently asked Questions
Walk-thrus of a previewed home
Virtual Tour with commentary
Unique happening for a particular neighborhood
Final walkthroughs – especially if there are still problems
Testimonials
Welcome message to new homeowner from nearby neighbors highlighting why
they love the neighborhood (Put on a DVD for the neighbors, too –
with your info, of course)
Driving tour of neighborhood, with commentary, for an out-of-town buyer
And the list goes on and on …..
We don’t have to wait until the next Women’s Council national meeting or summit in order to hear and learn more from Amy. She has a page on Facebook – The TechByte with Amy Chorew” and her website is www.amychorew.com The TechByte – Technology Strategies, Real Estate from Amy Chorew, Speaker, Coach. You can subscribe to her blog, sign up for monthly tips or hire her as a real estate coach.
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